MEND

The Men & Family Centre's MEND Family Project, based in Lismore NSW, has been offering group programs and counselling for men who are troubled by their violence since 1996. These groups are called MEND for Men Exploring New Directions. Partners or ex-partners are contacted as a condition of a man's entry to the MEND program. These women are offered ongoing support by telephone and entry to a women's support group (WEND).

Two to five MEND groups run each week in an attempt to service five local government areas, Lismore, Byron, Ballina, Casino and Kyogle. These include open groups, closed groups and courses for men mandated through Probation and Parole. Rekindling the Spirit, an Aboriginal family program offers a weekly group for Aboriginal men focussing on healthy relationships and stopping violence. A M&F Centre facilitator often co-facilitates this group which at present is located at the Centre.

An average of six men per week out of a population of approximately 60,000 call for assistance in addressing their anger, abusive behaviour or violence. The number of men seeking assistance has steadily increased each year. Over 1300 men have accessed the project since it began. According to partners, there has been a very significant reduction of abusive behaviour and violence.

A variety of important developments have sprung from these groups.

Most partners and ex-partners report significant positive changes in the men's behaviour. See the Survey Report for more information.

Most men who attend MEND begin to advocate with others for respect in relationships. They report many conversations in which they challenge their relatives, mates and work colleagues on the use of abusive behaviour or violence.

The M&F Centre offers the Tackling the Sharp End training to professionals and community workers in skills on engaging people to end abusive behaviour. There is a significant demand from a variety of Health and Welfare services for such training. M&F Centre trainings for Aboriginal workers have been very successful and courses for community and health workers have been fully subscribed.

Young men are coming to the groups. It is heartening to watch the interactions between older men and younger men in an atmosphere of respect and honesty.

The Koori MEND group provided the impetus for the Aboriginal Families Program, 'Rekindling the Spirit'. This program employs five full time workers and is funded by three government departments. Koori MEND has also been the seeding ground for the quarterly Koori fathers and sons camps, which attract an average of 15 men with their boys.

Men who have completed the MEND program have indicated their need for further programs. The M&F Centre has been fortunate to obtain further funding to enable group programs on a variety of themes including; Fathering, Grief and Loss, Self Esteem, Survivors of Childhood Sexual Assault and Communications. Some men have also initiated their own support group in which to continue the development of more self-awareness and respectful, loving relationships.

Even if a man does not complete the MEND program, it has been found that violence can be reduced or ended through the ongoing contact and support offered to his (ex)partner. This model of partner support is being considered for a wider program aimed at supporting victims of domestic violence. Over ninety percent of the women contacted through the MEND partner support have had no previous connection with any DV agencies.

The women's support aspect of the program has been acclaimed as world's best practice by organisations surveying men's behaviour change programs on a national basis.

The Men & Family Centre has, in cooperation with the local women's refuge initiated a Women exploring Anger program in response to women asking for courses similar to those offered to the men. This course has run many times and has been in high demand.

The M&F Centre takes part in community prevention programs that are aimed to reduce domestic violence.

MEND Funding

The M&F Centre is funded by the NSW Community Services. It is the only such service in NSW to receive government funding. It has funding for limited-term programs from the Commonwealth Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

Small amounts of funding are occasionally obtained from other departments for special programs. Probation and Parole, Head Injuries, Community Mental Health and other services pay for specific programs for their clients.

MEND's History

MEND was initiated by the Men's Contact And Resource Service (Men's CARS) under the auspices of Lismore Family Support Service Inc. as a result of the concern for men in the community calling Mensline who were troubled by their violence in 1993-4. At that time there were no venues in the region to address this concern.

The project began with funding from the Commonwealth Dept. of Primary Industries and Energy in 1995. This funding lasted under a year. The project was able to continue principally with voluntary labour, donations from male participants, a small grant from Lismore City Council and some financial support from Lismore Family Support. In June 1998 the NSW Area Assistance Scheme granted the M&F Centre Families Exploring New Directions (FEND) funding for two years to be picked up by the Dept. of Community Services for recurrent funding in July 2000.

Later in 2000 the M&F Centre and Lismore Family Support negotiated an amicable parting of ways. MEND is now a project of the Men & Family Centre Inc. and is based in Keen St Lismore.

Decision Making Structure

The Men & Family Centre is an incorporated organisation and therefore has a Management Committee that develops policy and steers projects. This committee is made up of men and women from a variety of services in the Lismore area. Each M&F Centre project has a team who collaborate to make the day to day decisions relevant to their work. For example the MEND workers have considerable input into policies, practices and direction. There is a strong and productive relationship between the Management Committee and the worker's Team. This is partly because the M&FC began as a grass-roots initiative.

The M&F Centre occasionally convenes an advisory group made up of people from Police, Probation and Parole, Health, PANOC (Child Protection), Community Services, the Women's Refuge and other relevant agencies. This group has a broad range of experience with which to inform and guide policy and practice.

The Groups

The principle activity of MEND is providing group based courses for men who seek assistance in ending their violence. Men are the primary target group for THE MEND behaviour change groups because:

• it is men who are asking for help in ending their abusive behaviour
• men generally have more power and tendency to dominate
• men are the predominant perpetrators of domestic violence
• MEND was a men's initiative

MEND has a twelve session program for it's open group. While most of the session themes build on previous ones, this is a non-sequential program, facilitators will select the evening's theme depending on the needs of the participants. Most MEND groups are three hours long with a tea break.

The M&F Centre also provides violence prevention courses for other target groups. These include; Probation and Parole, Head Injuries and NSW Health's MERIT program.

The Koori MEND group is facilitated by an Aboriginal Family worker and an M&FC facilitator. The Aboriginal worker comes from Re-kindling the Spirit. The Koori MEND group is integral to Re-kindling the Spirit's programs. The Koori MEND group has also spawned Koori fathers and sons camps and other community development activities.

The women's support group, WEND is principally for women partners of the men attending the MEND courses. However other women experiencing domestic violence are also welcomed into WEND when there are spaces available. The WEND group is sometimes facilitated by one M&FC worker (female) and a worker from a women's service.

A key aspect to the MEND approach has been an inclusive style of facilitation and counselling involving self-disclosure. For example; all facilitators include themselves in the exercises in the groups and will openly discuss the issues they face in maintaining equal, respectful and loving relationships. This ethical stand of 'walking the talk' is a core value of the MEND Team. The willingness of facilitators to join with participants in the group exercises creates a respectful atmosphere in which there is a high degree of trust. Facilitators see their role as creating a group environment in which participants argue for their own change.

MEND draws on a number of models and approaches that have been developed in Australia and overseas. The principle approach used is derived from Narrative Therapy and is named 'Invitations to Responsibility' after the book by Alan Jenkins. The Narrative approach offers a way to respectfully engage men who use violence on ending their abusive behaviour. The impact of violence on these men's partners and children is explored and this forms the basis for a strong motivation for change.

The Feminist analysis of male violence informs the MEND approach. Male violence is explored in the context of male expectations of privilege and dominance. A wide definition of violence includes emotional, psychological, physical, sexual and verbal abuse. MEND recognises that abusive behaviour can result from a variety of causes and therefore works without making assumptions about any of the men that come to consult the service.

Partner Contact

Contacting the partners or ex-partners of men who apply to join the MEND program is an integral part of the MEND program. This contact is made to discuss safety, to offer support in the way of listening and referral, to provide accountability and to ask for feedback on the amount of change a man may make.

A letter is sent out to (ex)partners after the man has completed the first Intake interview. This is followed up by a phone call from the MEND Women's Contact worker. The woman is invited to join the WEND support group and the frequency of contact by phone is negotiated. Usually this is on a one call per month basis, however, during a crisis a woman may be called daily.

In the most recent survey of (ex)partners 59 out of 65 women said they had no other contact from any relevant DV agency before being contacted by the MEND women's support worker. In this and many other regards MEND is much more than just a men's service. Even if a man leaves the MEND program the ongoing contact with the woman means that strategies can be implemented for safety, change and respectful relationships.

Evaluation

Four major evaluations and many ongoing feedback mechanisms indicate that the MEND groups are having success in ending and reducing violence. Another indicator of success is that men constantly report talking to mates, sons, fathers, etc about the impact of abuse and violence and how to stop it. Over thirty percent of men come through the recommendation of friends.

In the 2005 evaluation, sixty three (ex)partners were willing to undertake phone interviews. In the interviews one third of these women considered that all physical, verbal and emotional violence or abuse had ceased. Of the remainder, half said that the man's violence had reduced considerably while the others said that there had been no changes in the man's behaviour.

In Summary

Since the major perpetrators of domestic violence are men it makes sense to offer programs to men, particularly to those who are asking for assistance. MEND has had considerable success in working with such men according to these men's (ex)partners. Women who have lived with violence often state that they love their men and want to continue living with them as a family, they just want the violence to stop. MEND offers this possibility. MEND also is successful in stopping violence through the direct support of women, when men leave the MEND program early the women's support continues until safety is well established